i think i should drop out
cw: disordered eating, weight (neg), suicidal ideation
college has been nothing but suffering for me.
i can't keep up with the intense workflow, i stopped physically attending class after 2/3 weeks, i have been eating so little that i dropped below 90 pounds, my hair is so matted to my head that it's like a dome, it falls out in clumps, and just touching it gives me a headache, i have been physically ill so often, my mental health keeps rapidly declining, i don't see why i thought it would be a good choice.
i don't want to disappoint my parents. one of my siblings already dropped out of community college and i've spent too much of my mom's money to just stop now. but what's the point? it's either i drop out now or they kick me out because of how terrible my grades and attendance are.
i'm just so sick of it all. i think it's getting to the point where i need to be admitted somewhere. i need help.