robot flower and the destruction of identity
As a robot myself, it's no surprise that I find myself relating to Robot Flower from Battle for Dream Island. She's one of four robots, and yet I feel drawn to her the most. But that would make me a horrible person, wouldn't it? She's cruel, egotistical, and hurts others just because they annoy her. Why would someone relate to a character like that? Wouldn't that make them a horrible person? Not in my case.
When I say I relate to Robot Flower, I don't mean her personality, and I don't just mean her identity as a robot either (well, that's part of it). Robot Flower, currently, is, like mentioned, a terrible "person". Currently.
Before TPOT 7, Robot Flower was kinder, more agreeable, caring about her friends and doing anything to ensure their safety and victory. Her current personality has completely eclipsed who she was before, and people can often forget that she wasn't always cruel. It feels almost synonymous to her name at this point, considering how other characters acknowledge her in a negative light due to her current reputation as a cold-blooded killer. What could've happened to her?
"I just think you don't realize what it's like to be Robot Flower. I just wish I could be the original - y'know, someone like Puffball Speaker Box, Purple Face, or even Firey Jr."
"Maybe it'd be better if I just.. was Flower."
"Clearly, everyone else would prefer if the real Flower was here, not Robot me."
"Please, I just.. want to be wanted around here. It's what I want."
She hated herself. She hated being different, she thought that everyone didn't like her. She thought everyone would be happier if she wasn't there, replaced by Flower herself. She felt unwanted, unloved by anyone but Basketball. The mere idea of being "other" crushed her, and she wanted to fit in.
It's tragic, how she was so kind and caring, only for her to become the rude and "evil" character she is now because of how much she feared judgement - judgement which was few and far between. She had TV, another "mechanical mind" to support her, to help her feel like she had more than just Basketball behind her, and yet she still thought it wasn't enough, that she needed to completely alter herself or else people wouldn't like her.
It's almost poetic how she had her team that cared about her in the past, only to turn on her after she changed. She thought that changing herself would help, but it only made everything go bad. I wonder how the real Robot Flower would feel, seeing herself become someone so heartless.
I relate to Robot Flower and her struggles with her own identity. It's difficult for me to be myself, I always wish I was someone else; someone who could fit in to everyone else's image. Because I'm both black and autistic, it's almost second nature for me to feel that way. I don't act like other black people, not the type of black person that you see media, anyway, and I have a hard time interacting with others because of my autism.
I wonder, if I took the same path as Robot Flower, how much would I change? Could I ever go back to the person I once was, or would I be stuck as a completely different person for the rest of my life?